Lessons Learned

You know, I am going to get the hang of this steady posting schedule eventually, I promise. But in the mean time, it is about half past late and I felt like doing something, ANYTHING, That had some sort of permanence, so I guess I will write down a couple things.

So, You ever reach a time in life in which the exciting has ultimately become mundane? Well it seems I have. The exciting trips to get a new shirt, or a book, or hell even a trip to the city, have all melded into this giant gelatinous blob that has become boring. Not the kind of boring that you have to flee, but almost kind of like being in a bath of Luke-warm water. It wont hurt you, and you don't mind it, but you are looking for some kind of sensation other then simply being.

This vaguely reminds me of a line from an Anime I like. It basically goes that no matter how exciting you try and make your life, eventually the excitement will fade away, so you will go to a new setting, do new things, until there is nothing left. I always found that somewhat depressing, but it seems that it is more true then I care to imagine.

I have also, for the most part, not believed in a true good or evil. Sure I think they are, but I have never thought that someone or something is one or the other. I always thought it was more that they were swirled together, into a nicely marbled ice cream like substance, erring on the side of good. Instead, I have felt that everything has turned into one giant puff of empty gray-ness, like a thick fog of carbon monoxide that sulks its way through a crowded city street. There is nothing two it, but the effect of its blurred being has on everyone is noticed, but barely recognized as anything. If you haven't figured out by now, I haven't been in the cheeriest of moods lately.

I remember a time, not so long ago, in which life didn't really have a purpose, but it did have a spark to it. A spark that fueled my every day with something that I was interested in doing. A time in which I had fun. Well now, instead of fun, I have a giant cube of monoxide jelly weighing around on my shoulders and a mind full of color that the world seems to not want to copy.

On the bright side, I now have the vaguest Idea as to how to put eyeliner on my top eye lid. Thank god for small favors, as they say.